Unforgivable
by Fowlfan5
Summary: For IJCC's Hamead contest.  Hamilton has done something unforgivable... twice.  Can he ever make amends?


**Hey! This is for I Just Can't Choose's Star Contest- please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own 39 clues or anything else.**

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><p>Hamilton decided what he had to do that cold night; the night when guilt had overwhelmed him to such an extent he decided he couldn't bear it anymore. He ran over to Sinead's house in the pouring rain, and rode the bus for hours. He knew it was too late to be doing this; but he didn't think he'd be able to live with himself for a moment longer. When he closed his eyes, all he saw were her disapproving eyes, tears flowing down her cheeks as she realized what had happened to her brothers, to herself. And when he opened his eyes, all he saw were expressions of disappointment from everyone around him. He knew the majority of them were in his head, but still. He couldn't deal with it anymore. He brought a hand, shaky from the cold, to the door, knocking out a distinct three knocks. Sinead came to the door, her expression immediately becoming bitter when she saw who it was.<p>

"You," she spat.

"I- Sinead, I'm so-"

"I don't care about what you need to say to relieve your stupid conscience. I told you, I will never forgive you for what you did to Ned, Ted and me." Her expression softened slightly. "Ted will never see again."

"Sinead-"

"-GO AWAY!" she roared suddenly, apparently over her moment of sorrow.

"Bu-"

"Go away," she growled menancingly. She slammed the door shut, though she continued to watch him leave through the window. He walked down the long road, the rain pouring down around him, until a sudden voice stopped him.

"You idiot! What are you doing!" Hamilton turned around and saw Sinead's small figure being outlined by the light emerging from the doorway.

"Leaving!" he hollered.

"You'll get hypothermia you idiot! It's like, one degree celcius!" Hamilton was confused.

"...Celcius?" Sinead rolled her eyes.

"Come here you idiot."

Hamilton ran into the warm house eagerly. Sinead took his coat and hung it on a hook, talking all the while.

"...I just want to make it clear I'm not forgiving you, I just don't want to be held responsible for your death-"

"Understood," Hamilton chirped cheerfully. He was grasping at straws- he'd take anything he could get right now. Sinead pointed to a seat.

"Sit there. Don't touch anything else." Hamilton did as he was told, shivering. Sinead noticed his shivering and came over with a warm cup of liquid. "Drink this," Sinead insisted. Hamilton sipped it then spat it back into the cup, nose crinkling with distaste.

"Ugh, what is that?" Sinead smiled.

"Orange Pekoe." Hamilton blinked. "Tea," Sinead rephrased. Hamilton nodded.

"Ah. Well, it's gross." Sinead laughed dispite herself. She went to the kitchen where she brought out a sugar jar.

"Here, add as desired." Hamilton proceeded to add four heaping spoonfulls of sugar, Sinead frowning in disgust.

"Ew." Hamilton took a big sip.

"No, much better." Sinead smiled slightly to herself.

"Alright- so you'll finish your tea and leave?" Hamilton shook his head. Sinead released an exhasperated sigh. "Fine, I'll lend you a raincoat, though I can't imagine what posessed you to come here, it's so late..."

"I'm sorry," he said abruptly. "But I'm not leaving 'til... 'til you hear me out. At least let me talk to Ned and Ted-" Sinead was about to protest when she heard her brother's names. She reconsidered.

"How's this," she began, slowly and deliberately. "If you... help us, we can work something out. Interested?"

"Anything," Hamilton insisted. Sinead nodded to herself.

"Alright, well, if you help me drive them around, help Ted with his diagrams, help Ned when he gets a migraine, help walk Flamsteed... then I'll forgive you. And it'll give you a chance to talk to Ted and Ned... But I don't know anything about what they'll say. Deal?" Hamilton smiled, excited.

"Deal!" he said, shaking her hand. He smiled and winked, running out the door into the cold pouring rain. He didn't care that he'd now be cold, because now maybe his conscience would allow him to sleep.

...

Sinead woke, her bloodshot eyes an obvious sign that she had gotten no sleep the night prior. Running a hand through her auburn hair, she began to consider how she'd tell her brothers. Everyway she thought of it... it sounded bad. She stood up and walked down the hall, knocking on the door that her brothers shared. A somber voice sounded.

"Come in," Ned called. Most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two faces let alone the two voices, but Sinead could. Ned's voice was just slightly darker, slightly more... composed, mature. Sinead opened the door.

"Uh, hey guys... Can I tell you something?" Ted shrugged.

"I don't know, can you?" Sinead released an annoyed sigh- sometimes it was great having genius brothers, other times it sucked. This was one of those times. She rolled her eyes.

"... Okay, so you know how we've talked about getting some, you know, help?" Both boys shrugged in what was almost a mirror fashion.

"Sure," Ted stated. Sinead released a deep breath.

"So... I got some." Ned shrugged.

"Okay. Who?" Sinead gnawed at her bottom lip.

"It was free, so I had to take it... it was... Hamilton." Both boys shrugged.

"Okay," they said, sycnronized. Sinead was shocked.

"What? You guys are okay with this? He... he hurt us!" Ted shrugged.

"Yeah, but he's sorry. You really gotta learn to let stuff go." Sinead was shocked.

"I have to learn- he... he did this!" she guestured around to the world. Ned shrugged helplessly.

"Yeah, but nothing will change it now, will it?" And with that, an infuriated Sinead stormed out of the room.

...

Sinead came home from school that day and was relieved when she remembered she didn't have to go to Ned and Ted's schools to pick them up. She could almost feel the stress being lifted off of her shouders- then dropped back on when she came home and found Hamilton there with her brothers. She frowned- Hamilton was oblivious.

"Hey Sinead," he said, sitting on her couch in her seat watching her TV with her brothers. She coudn't help but feel terribly out of place; and suddenly mad at Hamilton. He made her feel out of place... Frustrated, she stomped up the stairs, her door slamming shut. Hamilton looked to Ned, confused.

"What was that about?" he asked, genuinely confused. Ned rolled his eyes.

"Ignore her; she's just moody."

"Why?" Ted spoke up.

"She's just mad that we're all like this... she's kinda mad at us for not being mad at you guys." Hamilton felt hollow and... confused inside. He thought they had a deal...

"Well then," Hamilton decided. "I guess I'll just have to make it up to her even better." Ted snorted.

"Good luck," he scoffed. Then, his football team scored a touchdown. "Go Packers!" he hollered. Both Ned and Hamilton groaned, supporting the opposing team. Hamilton suddenly stood up.

"I guess I should help if I'm going to help, eh?" Ned shrugged.

"Whatever. It's enough as it is- I mean, you live like, an hour from here." Hamilton proceeded to walk to the kitchen.

"Then I guess I should make the most of my time," he decided. He went to the kitchen and looked at what they had, spotting a bag of uncooked pasta- spaghetti. That shoudn't be too hard...

...

Sinead ran down the stairs, the smoke suffocating as she reached it's starting point. She saw Hamilton standing dumbly around a pot of overboiled mush. Sinead turned off the stove.

"You idiot!" she hissed, picking up the pot with pot holders and taking it outside so it could smoke more freely. Sinead turned around, amber eyes blazing with fury. "You burnt pasta? How do you even do that? And even if you do, what would posess you to just leave it burning?" Hamilton looked away bashfully and Sinead immediately felt bad- but not quite bad enough to take it back.

"I was just trying to help..." he said sheepishly. Sinead winced internally- okay, now she felt bad enough.

"It's... it's alright Hamilton..." she managed, practically biting her tongue. She dumped the boiling pot on a nearby tuff of weeds and went back inside, refilling the pot and putting in another fistful of spaghetti, putting it on the heat. "There, all better," she said, hoping that made her seem like less of a control freak. Hamilton smiled up bashfully.

"Err- thanks." Ned smiled.

"I love spaghetti- Hamilton, you want to have dinner with us?" It took Sinead everything in her power not to yell out no. Hamilton smiled, obviously flattered.

"Well... if it's okay with your sister..." _No! It's not,_ she growled to herself. Having to put up with Hamiton's stupidity any longer was the last thing she needed! But, in reality, between grinded teeth she said;

"Sure."

...

The weeks progressed and almost every evening Hamilton came over despite the hour car ride; and that was speeding! Still, eventually Hamilton knew how to boil pasta and even do some other cooking things that helped Sinead. Ted couldn't cook since he was blind, and Ned couldn't cook on his own because sometimes his headaches would be so bad he couldn't make sure his meals wouldn't catch fire; so that left Sinead, but now Hamilton was there. Some evenings she came home to such a great meal, which, Sinead was beginning to appreciate every more day. One night he had perfected pasta, something Sinead was immensely proud of in a way.

"Well?" he had said to the people at the table. Ted and Ned both smiled.

"Awesome," they had agreed. Sinead shrugged, biting back an obvious smile.

"It's okay," she mused. Hamilton laughed a rumbling laugh.

"Oh, thanks," he said. Sinead had simply smiled.

"It's alright- I'll choke it back." But she had come back for seconds. Eventually, as much as Sinead would've enjoyed for him to keep helping, she had decided to tell him that he was free to leave. It was after dinner when she had told him.

"Hamilton?" she had said, standing by the door frame. Hamilton took a step towards her.

"Yeah?"

"...I don't know about Ned and Ted, but... I forgive you." For a moment, silence overwhelmed the room. Then, Hamilton pulled Sinead into a bone crushing hug. Sinead let out a high-pitched squeal.

"Can't breathe!" she yelled. Hamilton released.

"I'm sorry, it's just...that means a lot to me. Thanks." Sinead blushed.

"Sure..." Hamilton looked around.

"I'll talk to Ned and Ted tomorrow, 'ight?"

"Sounds fine." Sinead looked beautiful in her evening moon, the moonlight somehow bringing out the best in her plain auburn hair and amber eyes. Then Hamilton suddenly realized something... and once again, guilt was instilled in him.

"I'll, uh... bye." A little surprised by his turn in moods, Sinead only had time to say bye before Hamilton was in his car and already out of sight.

...

Sinead went a day without seeing Hamilton... then two... then a week... She decided to speak to Ted.

"Ted?" she asked him that beautiful Saturday morning. Ted spun around in his chair.

"Yeah?" he asked cheerfully.

"...Did Hamilton ever speak to you guys?" A solemn expression suddenly replaced Ted's formerly cheery one. What should he tell his sister? He didn't want to lie to her, but the truth would mean violating the guy code... he went over one conversation in particular in his head.

_It was the day after Sinead had forgiven Hamilton, and Hamilton was driving them home._

_"Hey, Sinead forgave me last night... are, uh, you guys still mad at me?" Ted snorted._

_"No," he stated._

_"Nah," Ned agreed. Hamilton repostioned his hands on the steering wheel._

_"Good," he said after a moments hesitation. Thinking nothing of it, Ted spoke._

_"Hey, so for dinner we have chicken-"_

_"-I... I'm not staying for dinner," he said._

_"Why not?" Ned demanded. It took Hamilton a moment before replying._

_"I can't... I can't see your sister."_

_"What? Why not?"_

_"I've done something... unforgivable," he stated. Ned rolled his eyes._

_"Oh, get over it. It was a long time ago- besides, you said Sinead forgave you-"_

_"Not that," Hamilton grumbled miserably._

_"What?" Ted demanded, suddenly defensive of his sister. "Did you insult her? Hurt her?" he growled. Hamilton sighed._

_"No, nothing like that-"_

_"-Tell me," Ted growled._

_"I... I like her, alright? But she can't know, she'd... it'd be unforgivable." Ned snorted._

_"Look, it's no big deal-"_

_"Yes, it is. Don't tell her- she'd hate me. Just... promise you won't tell her, alright?" _

_"Fine," both boys had agreed._

Now Ted didn't know what to do. His sister was obviously distressed, but he didn't want to break his word to Hamilton.

"Nothing, just asked if we had forgiven him, then left." Ted was shocked to hear his sister's voice hollow and empty, broken.

"...Oh." He heard the door thud thump, signifying her departure. The day progressed into evening, and Sinead continued to mope around... Ted couldn't stand it much longer.

"Ned," he said to his brother, "you got the phone?"

"Yep." He dialed Hamilton's number- he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hamilton- can, you, uh, come here?" Ted asked.

"Why?"

"Sinead's not here and Ned's having a really bad migraine."

"...You sure Sinead's not there?"

"Of course I'm sure," Ted snorted. "She's my triplet."

"Alright, I'll be an hour." And, just as promised, an hour later, Hamilton arrived. Ned answered the door. Hamilton frowned.

"Ned, I thought you were having a headache..."

"I, uh... was... but uh, can you come upstairs with me?" Hamilton was immediately cautious.

"Why?" he demanded. Ned bit his cheeks- he never was a good liar...

"We, uh, can't find Ted's cane... Help us please?" Hamilton snorted, annoyed.

"How do you loose that thing so often?" he demanded, stepping over the threshold. Ned shrugged, trying not to smile.

"...I dunno. Hey, will you go to the attic- that's where Ted is?" Hamilton stepped into the house, navigating his way through the living room to the attic- he heard a light crying and immediately rushed over to locate it- had Ted hurt himself? That's where he saw Sinead sitting in the corner, knees pulled into her chest, crying softly. Hamilton knew he should've been more mad that 2/3's of the triplets had set him up; but he was more worried about Sinead.

"Ned, I told you to go-" she looked up, her bloodshot eyes and grimance suddenly turning into a look of awe. "-Away," she finished dumbly. Hamilton put a hand on her shoulder.

"Sinead, you alri-" Sinead shrugged off his hand.

"Don't touch me," she mumbled miserably.

"What's wrong?" he asked, a certain tenderness leaking into his voice. Sinead scowled at him.

"You! You... left! Didn't even say goodbye!" Hamilton felt his stomach flip-flop. Uh oh...

"I... I kinda had to-"

"No, you didn't have to do anything!" Sinead inhaled a sharp breath in a weak attempt to compose herself. "I almost thought I liked you," she whispered so quietly one wouldn't have heard unless they were purposely listening. Hamilton heard.

"Sinead, I left 'cause... I thought I did something unforgivable. I fell for the prettiest, smartest, weirdest, wickedly nicest girl I know."

"How does that affect me?" Sinead snapped. Hamilton put a tentative hand on hers.

"She is you," he stated simply.

"Oh." Sinead said. Her face paled from shock, then burned feverishly, then a smile crept onto her cheeks. "Really?" she asked quietly, almost as if she was afraid reality would fade away if she spoke it aloud too loudly.

"Really," he responded, his blue eyes sparkling. Sinead stood, Hamilton copying her.

"In that case," she mused, "I forgive you." And to reinforce the fact, she leaned in and kissed him.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed it- I Just Can't Choose Especially! ;) Thanks- please review!<strong>

**~Fowlfan5**


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